Is BPD real or just an excuse?

I would argue that bpd is one of the most extreme mental illnesses on the planet. I honestly place it in the same category of severity as someone suffering from untreated schizophrenia or DID. Anytime someone is suffering from a disorder associated with a lack of self, unstable self, shifting self image massive massive massive damage takes place. Our identities, our personalities, our character is in my opinion the closest thing to our souls as we can get. It’s the unique part of each of us that makes us different. It’s our beliefs, our values, our internal 10 commandments that we follow even when no one is looking. People suffering from bpd often don’t have an identity or they don’t have a stable one. They have what’s called an external locus of control which means they allow themselves to be governed by other people/ outside sources. That’s why borderlines believe in magical holistic nonsense or they honestly think other people are responsible for their mood state, life choices, and actions. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve had untreated borderlines in my office literally explaining to me how tero cards, psychics, the stars, or the universe somehow is responsible for their current situation (they actually believe it). They don’t have a solid core identity to base any of their thoughts, feelings, or actions off of which is why they are so deeply unwell. It really does look and feel like someone was separated from their soul. I’m not saying pwbpd don’t have souls. I’m just saying it looks like their soul has been placed separately from them and in its place is this void of intense childhood need for love.

Going through the comments I read was the same stuff over and over. Borderlines in tears saying this is the first time someone has understood their situation (it’s not). How it’s the first time someone explained things to them (it’s not). Mostly how they have identical experiences and have so many emotions about it. I’m going to post the video and I really encourage some of you to click on it and read the comment section. Those of you borderlines and codependent partners who want to minimize bpd or act like these individuals aren’t some of the most unstable mentally ill people out there then please open your eyes. Just scrolling through the comments of that video made me really feel bad for how deeply unwell these people can get. It’s just toxic comment after toxic comment of people who aren’t tethered to any reality. Borderline after borderline basing their entire reality off how they feel (that’s bpd).

I was watching YouTube and this borderline popped up in my feed. I started watching his video over how to release a favorite person. He sounds exactly like the textbook toxic borderline who doesn’t have much recovery, but he’s trying really hard to be honest. As I listened to him I decided to look at the comments of his video. I was shocked to read comment after comment from untreated toxic borderlines saying the exact same thing. It’s nothing new, but it’s proof of how mentally unwell these people really are when untreated. His entire video he’s talking about hovering a previous favorite person. How he can’t do anything but think about them 24/7, he can’t even play one song without getting lost (deep addiction and dependency all from projection). How he fantasizes about going up to his former favorite person and begging them to keep him. He literally says one of his fantasies is to walk up and say “tell me who you need me to be and I’ll be it” which is exactly what I’m talking about. This guy is saying over and over in this video that he has no idea who he is as a person. That the only thing he knows is he’s idealizing an old partner, he can’t think about anything else, he doesn’t know who he is, he’s willing to be anything to get this person to take him back. If this happened to someone once maybe in their teens I could understand it. Borderlines LIVE IN REPEAT MODE going through this cycle their entire lives. That “I hate you don’t leave me. I love you go away” push pull insanity never ends. Borderlines might idealize someone for a few weeks or months (sometimes longer). The problem is that idealization is pure fantasy projection and because it’s not based on anything real they lose those feelings. That’s why most untreated borderlines jump from favorite person to favorite person leaving chaos and trauma in their wake. These are deeply mentally ill people so please show some respect when talking about bpd.

How can the citizens of Russia accept the enormous difference between people? The richest 500 Russians own more than the poorest 99.8% of the entire Russian population combined. Why don't we see any protests?

Typically only two types of people want to argue about the severity of bpd. It’s either hurt codependents who want to see them as these evil genius masterminds who intentionally set out to destroy them. Or it’s untreated pwbpd who have zero recovery and think that everyone who confronts them about bpd is somehow attacking them personally. Again, these people do not have stable identities. Without a stable identity you cannot take any criticism or be held accountable to any standard because you have no foundation to stand on. They are basically very needy emotional infants trapped inside the bodies of adults with adult needs and desires. Borderlines never got the love they felt they needed as infants so they spend their entire adult life chasing after a fantasy of the perfect unconditional love that will save them. They find a favorite person and project that need and that fantasy onto them expecting their FP to love them so perfectly and so unconditionally that it will finally fill that void within them and make them all better. The tragedy is the damage ito them has already been done back when they were infants and no amount of love will undo it.

My point of creating this post was to show using borderlines own words how serious their mental illness can get. I’m going to post a few comments below that really stood out from that video. These are all comments about needing or leaving a favorite person. I want you to look at the theme. These are all adults later in life acting as though this is the first time someone has explained these challenges to them. I promise each one of these people has been spoken with dozens of times about bpd, favorite persons, impulsive need for love, idealizing others. Borderlines base their reality of how they feel emotionally in the current moment. That’s why much of what they say and do doesn’t make any sense. They want to prioritize intentions and feelings over facts, actions, and behaviors which is part of the reason we classify bpd as a major mental illness. Anyways, just read these comments:

Almost every comment is from someone saying in some way that this is the first time they’ve felt understood (it’s not, I promise). These comments are likely all from untreated or barely treated pwbpd who are still wrapped up so much in their illness that they can’t objectively look at themselves. Even they are aware of how their behaviors are crazy and don’t make any sense. Pwbpd are so mentally ill that even time and memories (object constancy/ object permanence) doesn’t work properly. I promise you that these people have each had multiple times in their life that someone explained bpd idealization, bpd favorite person, and bpd splitting but they just don’t remember it. They are so controlled by how they feel emotionally in the present moment that it’s how they define their entire reality. Every single untreated pwbpd will govern their reality by how they feel emotionally in the current moment instead of basing their reality on objective facts.

Hello,hope y'all doin good, i came to Quora to share my strange story , a very weird one , a story when luck smiled at me ,maybe u will enjoy it , let's begin,have fun... A year ago ,I was a real porn addicted(btw I was 18) ,but never had sex before, I don't have a gf I didn't try to find one even ,always thinking to go to find a sex worker but then I just don't , everyday watching different bodies getting fucked and everyday enjoying. One day, I was watching porn, a big ass lady with big boobs ,just after seeing her the image of my female cousin poped in my mind, (let's introduce her : she's 35 years old , very big ass , nice boobs ,not very big but nice,always wearing tight clothes , she's divorced ) and I thought of me fucking her ,I never had sexual desires for her but now I do days went by and when I met her I was so horny ,I couldn't stay with the family cz my penis was clearly erected , I realized this is my first time I get horny for one of my family ,it not illegal in my country.well to make a long story short( if u want details just text me I will tell u 😊),I decided to give her signs that I want to fuck her,finally I decided to have sex and with my cousin , I thought it is the best beggining for me, i started touching her when I came across her in a narrow place , make her feel my hard cock when we hug , I thought it will hard and I will be ashamed but no , I felt nothing and she said nothing , probably she thought it was by mistake,anyways, I decided then to talk with her about sex, waited for her to be alone in a room and talk with her, I confessed everything about me watching porn and addicted..etc,she said it's normal and u are growing up and u must have sex,well at that time I was like whaaat????? Well I didn't control myself and asked her for sex ( horny like I Ve never been before) she said that she will think Abt it ,2 weeka went by then she called me ,telling that she reserved a room in a hotel and we meet tonight ,we met,and bruuhh, sex is great , I mean, I had to find a pirstitue ,what I was waiting for to have such a feeling ????, I will never forget that night, I started kissing her she was kissing hard ,she misses sex so bad , she sucked my dick and swallowed my semen ,I felt I'm in a dream , then when fucked ,her ass was very big and the anus was open ,didn't struggle to get my hard cock inside it , she was obviously missing sex , she was shouting ,fuck me yh fuck me , I go fast after every word until I cum , we did that 3 times , then we went to her pussy , using condoms I fucked her so hard the moans were higher , everything was perfect ,in the end I asked her to lick her body , licked pussy ,ass, boobs,then she sucked my cock until we sleeped ,all I know that she was dirty ,well before even having sex with her I knew she is an open minded woman , and a woman that looks that she donesnt know anything , but she knows everything, but never expected having sex with her ,well she was horny and that helped...but no one of us regretted that sex ever.. We still have sex from time to time ,and I started having sex with sex workers , joining threesomes..etc If u want pics of her text me.

I hope some of you borderlines or codependent partners that want to minimize bpd can wake up. Just because borderlines can wear facades and sometimes function by being charming or sexy doesn’t mean that internally they aren’t a complete mess of loose wiring and intense childhood need. So many partners wrongly conflate the facades to who the borderline is or was. I’m here to tell you the pwbpd isn’t even there to begin with. The real borderline underneath everything is a empty, needy, scared, angry, self hating infant that is on an endless life quest to find mommy or daddy’s unconditional love in a favorite person partner (that’s it, without treatment that’s who they really are as people). It’s tragic but most importantly bpd deserves the respect of being honest about how serious the nature of the illness. I’m attaching his video below as well as a screenshot of it for those of you who can’t click on the YouTube link. When someone is so unwell the they don’t even understand why they do things it’s a big red flags that something is really wrong (that’s extreme mental illness). I strongly want to encourage any borderlines reading this to stop impulsively reading about bpd (it won’t help you). Get off the internet, stop reading books about bpd, stop the holistic mumbo jumbo. Get your ass into targeted therapy like DBT or schema therapy and commit to it otherwise you’ll never heal. Please just take some accountability for your illness and get into recovery. It’s up to you to either stay sick or heal!